ALL that hath life and breathe praise ye the Lord...

Things About Me Part 1

2009-08-29T23:08:00.003-05:00

I have been doing some introspection lately. I was praying through some of the lies that I believe about myself, and in doing so, stumbled upon a whole mess crap of things that I would venture to guess that other people didn't know about me. I have spent much of the past year in my own little bubble since graduating from college. While I like to blame my introvertedness on not being social very often, I love being around people. I have lost sight of this more than anything. So, here are some tidbits about me that you may or may not know. Enjoy, and bear with me. There are more interesting things to come.

-I hate generalities
-I hate Mondays
-More often that I like I let what I think my weaknesses are determine my mood and persona for the day or task at hand
-I hate mornings
-I REALLY hate Monday mornings
-My parents still call me punkin from time to time
-I think that I have the best boyfriend in the world
-I don’t think very highly of myself
-My favorite Biblical author is Paul
-I don’t like speaking in front of people
-Pluots are quickly topping the charts as my favorite fruit
-My parents were going for a name that wasn’t very popular when they named me
-I don’t ever want to live so extravagantly that I would have a need to hire a maid
-My mind doesn’t ever really shut down
-I like to recycle and urge others to do so as well
-9-11 is a very important day to me, but not because of the WTC
-My dream ‘job’ is to be a house wife and stay at home mom
-I think about my wedding day all the time, more often than I should and even realize
-My favorite Bible passages make me want to cry every time I read it
-The day my grandpa died was the first time I ever saw my dad cry
-I will never forget my grandpa Raymond
-I am bitter about my car accident and the vehicle rut that it has left me in
-Laundry is my favorite chore
-I have recently rediscovered my love for reading
-I wish I could lose weight
-My least favorite thing about me is my smile
-I think that everyone should visit another culture to really appreciate the way we live here
-I hate sleeping in a controlled silence
-Harry Potter is NOT my favorite series
-The prospect of the unknown for this next season of my life scares me more than I ever thought possible
-I love playing in the rain and wish I could do it more often
-I do not like being the center of attention
-My favorite color is pink, and I love the Little Mermaid; so sue me
-I prefer mountains and cold to anything else in the world
-I would like to see as much of the world as possible and marvel at all the God has created
-I visit the Eiffel Tower on Google earth almost every night before I go to bed

The Motions

2009-08-19T18:21:00.002-05:00

For those of you that know me best, I have an obsession with songs that speak to me. I feel that God can teach you something in just about anything, especially music and song. Throughout my life, there have been a few choice songs that have better expressed my mood or emotion or lack thereof better than I could ever imagine. I love knowing that someone out there struggles like I do, even if the song was written just to make money.

Lately, I have been listening to Matthew West’s The Motions like it is going out of style. For a lot of reasons this song speaks to me. Much like my favorite song, my Desire by Jeremy Camp, it tells how my heart feels. I don't want to go through the motions of the Christian life. While I feel I lack boldness and the right words to say more often than not, God is good in granting me the experiences to be able to work through my own inadequacies and proves time and time again that He is God. Only God can help me fight through the nothingness of this life.

Here are the lyrics for those of you that have never heard it.

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

The Ultimate Proposal

2009-08-13T15:01:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

So my friend Doug went on another summer project this time to Wildwood, NJ and a friend of his on project wrote this. It's so astounding to say the least. Please share it with everyone you know.

THE PROPOSAL:

A cross, a tree, he was beaten, broken. How is it that a man would be able to propose to us in this way? Most of the time we see the man get down on one knee, and "pop" the question. They plan this beautiful ceremony so the girl is sure to remember it for forever. Then when and if she says yes, she calls all her girlfriends and tells them about the most amazing man ever, and how much he means to her. What about God? More importantly, Jesus. Physically, He could not get down on one knee, but He was still able to propose to us. We know that each swing of the whip was just another diamond in the ring. He loves us so much that in the midst of proposing He died for us. The cross is the proposal. He gives us all the chance to answer the question. We can say yes or no. It is one or the other. We have accepted the proposal of a great man. He was not presentable by world standards at te time, but in our eyes He was more beautiful to us than ever before. With open arms He proposed His love for us and made it public. Arms open wide, He popped the question, "Will you marry me?"

THE ENGAGEMENT:

So, you said Yes! Great! As things go on we grow to love Jesus more. We are living in the engagement. Day by day the wedding gets closer. There is still a lot of planning to be done. Have you sent out the invitation yet? How many people are coming? Well, truthfully that is up to you. Everyone is welcome to come to the wedding, but they won't be there until you invite them. Do you see the connection here? We must invite people to the wedding. They too can say yes or no to the proposal by Jesus. There are weddings here on earth that have hundreds in attendance. How crzy is it to think that there will be billions of people at your wedding? As we wait for our wedding day, we live in the engagement. We love Him more everyday and we get to know Him on a more personal level daily. The engagement process may be long, but it will be well worth the wait as we allow Jesus to plan the wedding. How many people are coming to your wedding? Send out those invitations, this is going to be the wedding of the century.

THE WEDDING:

Today's the big day. You've been waiting for this day for years. You are finally at the ceremony. What a beautiful sight. Golden trumpets play loudly and a multitude of guests are taking their seats to watch the wedding take place. Pillars of silver and gold line the aisle as cherabiun play harps in perfect harmony. You are the bride, this is your day. Everything is in place, the doors open and in the distance you see Him, smiling at His bride. The music begins with a loud crash that shakes the very Heavens. This is everthing you hoped for and more. The closer you get to Him the bigger your smile becomes. Finally, you make it to the base of the altar and you notice that your husband, Jesus, is crying in the midst of how beautiful you look today. As He reaches out His hands you see the holes where the nails were, marking his body with His love for you. Remembering the proposal you fall to your knees and you realize that this is real. You are the bride of the King of the Universe. Ever since He proposed and as long as the engagement lasted you have finally made it to the wedding. "I do" you say and make it official, what's next?

THE HONEYMOON:

You thought Hawaii was paradise? It was anything but. No, now you are truly in paradise. Your honeymoon cost a fortune, but it was paid for by the blood of the Lamb. This paradise is more beautiful than anything you have ever seen before in your lifetime. Every tree, rock, plant, waterfall, and creature boasts perfect beauty and glory to God. The good thing about this honeymoon is that you don't have to go home. There is no end, eternal happiness is yours. Your husband loves you and the honeymoon is sweet. You will have perfect intimacy, with a perfect God, who perfectly loves you. As you dwell eternally in paradise you see Jesus as more and more beautiful. Nothing comes close to this. Everything that God has is now yours to share. Tears fill your eyes as you step back and take it all in. How ironic, you cried during the proposal, during the engagement you went through so much together, when you walked down the aisle you cried at His beauty, and now you are crying because of all the honeymoon has to offer. It is yours for eternity. Tears of sadness, NO! Tears of joy and reassurance that the marriage process is done, and you eternally get to reap the benefits of the most loving relationship you have ever had. Nothing, nothing, nothing, can compare to this. God Bless the newlyweds!

Written July 9, 2009 by Zach Brubaker

Here's to you, Brazil!!

2009-01-31T23:28:00.007-06:00

Every time I hear 'God of This City" by Chris Tomlin, I can't help but think of the best summer of my life. I dedicate these lyrics to the students in Brazil and beyond, because He really is the God of the nations. Greater things are yet to be done. All praises be to you, Lord!!

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You Are

You're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

Spurgeon for the day

2008-11-04T10:17:00.000-06:00

You Make the Trenches

And he said, Thus saith the Lord, Make this valley full of ditches. For thus saith the Lord, Ye shall not see wind, neither shall ye see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, that ye may drink both ye, and your cattle, and your beasts. (2 Kings 3:16-17)

Three armies were perishing of thirst, and the Lord interposed. Although He sent neither cloud nor rain, yet He supplied an abundance of water. He is not dependent upon ordinary methods but can surprise His people with novelties of wisdom and power. Thus are we made to see more of God than ordinary processes could have revealed. Although the Lord may not
appear for us in the way we expect, or desire, or suppose, yet He will in some way or other provide for us. It is a great blessing for us to be raised above looking to
secondary causes so that we may gaze into the face of the great First Cause.

Have we this day grace enough to make trenches into which the divine blessing may flow? Alas! We too often fail in the exhibition of true and practical faith. Let us this day be on the outlook for answers to prayer. As the child who went to a meeting to pray for rain took an umbrella with her, so let us truly and practically expect the Lord to bless us. Let us make the valley full of ditches and expect to see them all filled.

Tea Stained Tear

2008-10-09T23:14:00.003-05:00

This is something that I wrote. Let me know what you think.

That first look you gave made my heart skip a beat
Then we held hands and I couldn't breathe
That time that I nearly lost my mind
when we kissed in the rain and lost track of time

You were always right there when I needed you most
even when I was weary from you and your dumb ego
No matter how hard I tried you were always on my mind
You said you would never let me go

I opened that corner of my heart for a short while
I let you in, despite what my mind kept telling me
For once in my life I wanted to be that girl
that could jump in and just be, oh to just be

now all i have left are tea stained tears that will not leave me alone

there was a time that i wanted to be everything for you
to just want you to want me and never look back
now all i want is for you and your memory to go
far away to a part of me that i can never unpack

to just be in your presence is more than I can stand
to hear you laugh, to hear you breathe
to just be in your presence is more than I could stand
even your walk is a perfect image in my memory

now I can't let you go
no, I can't let you go
no matter how hard I try
you're still a tea stained tear

Recent Facebook status explained

2008-09-06T20:41:00.001-05:00

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

Honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you

I'm not alright... that's why I need you.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside...

2008-09-04T01:29:00.002-05:00

I am going to preface this with the fact that this is a ramble. However scattered it may be, these are my thoughts and response to my facebook status.

I have come to realize my lack of dependence on the Holy Spirit. I have not been seeking God on anything. I haven't journaled since I have been home, and I haven't been praying like I should. I am making less money now, so tithing has been out of the picture. I have been trying to control everything because it feels like it is all spinning out of control. I have been really caught up in my own little world of trying to find a job and pleasing my parents while trying to make friends at home and staying used to being single.

The status reads worse than it really is. Well, maybe. It is a line from a Sanctus Real song that I heard at Life Light this weekend.

Other than feeling like life is going nowhere, things are good. I met some really cool people, along with some not so great. I do have a job, no matter how much i would like to be gone. I have a roof over my head, which is more than half of the world.

Really, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I don't want to be in the States anymore. I would like to go to the world. Bring me Africa, more Brazil or even 'China.' As Shane and Shane sing:

You said, "ask, and I'll give the nations to you."
Oh Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the islands will seek your light
As is rises on us...

Please, Lord, give me the nations. I want to Go. As Isaiah shouted, "Here am I! Send me!"

Inability to sleep at its finest...

2008-08-15T00:28:00.002-05:00

I sometimes enjoy these question survey things because of how much time they actually take to do. I am hoping that this will aid in my getting to sleep tonight. We shall see.

1. Last movie that you saw in a theatre: The Dark Knight. If you haven't seen it, shame on you.

2. What book are you reading? I am in the middle of The Picture of Dorian Gray and will be starting Twilight by Stephanie Meyer soon.

3. Favorite board game: Settler's of Catan, hands down.

4. Favorite magazine: I am ashamed to say Cosmo.

5. Favorite smells: fresh laundry, the black midnight candle from Yankee, Moonlight Path from Bath and Body Works, the twinge in the air when winter and snow is on its way

6. Favorite foods: chicken, beans, and rice. Anything. Food and I get along really well.

7. Favorite sound: string quartets

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? "Ugh, I hate you, morning!"

9. Worst feeling in the world: Rejection. I seem to be getting a lot of it lately.

10. Favorite fast food place: the "frango bomb" place in Sao Paulo. it isn't really fast, but it was the best chicken I have ever had in my life.

11. Future child's name: Parker Grant/Graham for a boy, and Lillian Alethia Grace for a girl.

12. Finish this statement: "If i had a lot of money I would..." pay off school loans and go back to Brazil.

13. Do you drive fast? As much as I try not to.

14. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Sometimes. I have this one seal that I got in the 4th grade when I got bronchitis really bad, and she made me feel better. So, I can't help but want to have a warm fuzzy feeling when I am trying to sleep. :)

15. Storms- yay or nay? YAY!! I love storms. I get so caught up in the power that they create, all at the hand of God? so cool.

16. What was your first car? A 1988 Chrysler 5th Avenue. It was the boatiest and most comfortable car to drive.

17. Favorite drink: Anything not diet.

18. Finish this statement: "If I had the time, I would..." hang out with my friends from STL.

19. If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? I would do a dark underneath color, and a blondish color on top. Sounds kindof Avril Lavigne, but I have always liked it.

20. Do you eat the stems on broccoli? Sometimes.

21. Glass half empty or full? Half full.

22. Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in: Granite City, Chesterfield, St. Louis, Sao Paulo.

23. Favorite sports to watch: Baseball, or the olympics.

24. what is under your bed? All the crap that doesn't have a place anywhere else. It is kindof my junk closet.

25. Toilet paper/paper towel- over or under? Over.

26. Morning person, or night owl? Check the time on this one... Night owl all the way.

27. Over easy or sunny side up? Scrambled with cheese, please...

28. Favorite place to relax: My bed.

29. Favorite pie: my grandma's peach cobbler.

30. Favorite cake: Yes.

31. Favorite flower: Red Poinsettias and red Roses.

32. Least favorite flower: None. I enjoy them all.

Until I see you again...

2008-06-30T15:59:00.005-05:00

Today marks the last full day that I will spend in Brazil. I must admit that this is a very sad thing to realize. I do NOT want to leave. It is much like church camp when you are in school, and don't want to leave your new found friends and go home to where they are not. Well, that, times about a million. Not only have I made some unforgettable friends here, but I have grown to know myself in ways like nothing else has ever challenged me to.

There are two things in particular that I will share here at this point. I will need some time to process and gather full coherent thoughts on the rest.

1. I have learned that I need the gospel on a daily basis. My discipler, Londa, had me sit down and make a list of things that are true about me in light of this. On this list were things such as:

-I am a daughter called according to the purpose of God.
-I have already been redeemed, and because of this, I do not have to live in guilt of the things that I am ashamed of. Jesus died on the cross once for ALL of my sins. Why should I inflict my own punishment on myself?
-I am a work in progress. I will not be perfected until He calls me home; no sooner, no later.
-I love to journal and share my thoughts.
-Even though I may not always be good with the words that I am using, I am still authentically communicating.
-I am loved by the Creator of the universe.
-I serve the same God that David and Abraham and Paul and Peter served. I am serving the same God that my kids, hopefully, serve as well.

Thank you Londa for pushing me to look outside of myself and seeing the beauty that God has blessed me with!

2. We spent pretty much the entire summer praying for our hearts to be broken for the lost, to see them as God sees them, to view them in light of their eternity. Well, I didn't fully understand what this meant until we had only 1.5 days left on campus.

Brad and I went sharing in the Eletrica building on POLI. We met this guy at the cafe upstairs. WE are going to say that his name is Luis. He was a relativist, and made it very clear that he knew there was a truth out there about God, but didn't know what that truth was. He claimed that if there was just one God, that God would seek him out and reveal himself to him, and that he should just wait for it. I thought to myself, "we came to you, didn't we? We have a gospel to share with you, don't we?" We went through 3 of the 4 laws, and he just could not accept that what we were saying was true. It was OUR truth, and thus only good enough for us. Eventually, he had to go study since it was finals week. Brad and I went to pray for him and to calm ourselves down because we were way worked up about it. When we got done praying, I just broke down. I cried so hard. I literally hurt inside for him. I wondered how he would ever hear again. I wondered how he would find the truth, if he would actually read the 4SL book that we gave him and take the scripture inside it to be authoritative and the ultimate truth.

This has spawned on several things for me. This confirms that I want to do mission work for a while. I am not sure where yet. I may come back to STINT in Brazil in 2009. Or, I could end up in Africa. I don't know, but God does. Please pray for me as I am seeking to find what God would have me do with my new found desires.

Coming to a close, I want to thank all of my team for being so stinkin' awesome. I was so afraid about coming on project by myself, and they made it easy to come out of my shell, even when I didn't feel I had anything of value to interject. Thank you for loving me as Christ does!! I love you all and will miss you terribly!

To those of you in the Lou, I will see you in less than 3 days!!

Mr. Project 2008

2008-06-29T12:50:00.012-05:00

On Friday nights, the community team is in charge of planning fun things for the group. The first week we did speed not dating. The second week we played the game three lies and a truth. Be on the lookout for a video of that one. The third week we went to the churrascaria. (See my food post.) The week we were at the beach, we played 4 on a couch. The last big one was a man pageant. There were three rounds: talent, questions, and fasion show. Here are some highlights.

The emcees for the night were the lovely Lauren Dahlin and Vanessa Mills.

TALENT
Smudge sang a song about ugly people getting true love.

Brad starred in his own show at UW Eau Claire called The Heist. It even had a theme song and really great intro graphics.

Ryan Naidl, our project director, told a story through picture about catching trout during the hexogenious fly hatching. Google it.

QUESTION
All the guys got dressed up realy nice, for the most part. Notice that Dean and Pat AND Ryan are wearing the same shirt. Many of them after these two wore the same shirt. The thing is, the shirt fit pretty much all of them. It was hysterical.

The three questions were:
1. Describe your perfect date.
2. What song would you choose to describe you in high school?
3. What celebrity would play you in a film about your life?

Dean by far had the best answer for question 1. He said, and I quote, "probably not." Then, he went on to describe lots of cheese. It was truly amazing.

Pat chose "Bad to the Bone" for his high school song.

Ryan Ainsworth chose Brad Pitt to play him in his movie. The thing is, I think that it would actually work.

FASHION SHOW
Here are two pictures of what all the guys were wearing. We had a homeless man, Quailman, a cow guy with cheese taped to his shirt, a troll, and a few just oddly dressed men.

The first and first runner up got Guarana and a crown of sorts. Smudge took first runner up and Pat took first. Way to go guys!! I can say that it was a night full of laughter and fun had by all. Thank you community team!!

A jitterbuggin' good time

2008-06-25T07:11:00.007-05:00

Tonight, the project guys threw a little gala for all the girls. We hot invitations under our Door on Sunday morning, inviting us to a "jitterbuggin' good time from all the cool cats on project."

So, Tuesday 8pm rolls around, and we all get to the hotel lobby. There, the boys were all waiting with flowers for all of us. Then, we went for a stroll around the block. Now, the facade was that we had to walk to where we were going, when in fact all we were doing was going back to the hotel.

Then, we were split into two groups. One went to The Grace Place, which was the TV room, and the other was Left Foot Londa's, which is the patio. We each had seats that were marked by hearts with our names on them, and a little note of encouragement on the back. We were served cake, ice cream, and soda by the men, heckled at by a few of them, and generally just loved on.

After our snacks were finished, we were ushered to the basement to be serenaded by an original by Pat Stiller. (I will try to upload the video of that, when I get home, as the internet is not that reliable here.)

After the singing and spirit fingers were done, we split up again. Half went to The Grace Place to play a game, and half went to Left Foot Londa's for a swing dance lesson with Smudge and Dave Bell. This was by far the best part of the evening. I have missed swing dancing. Smudge was a great teacher and partner. This is a picture of Smudge and I doing the eternal spin.

After my group was done with the dancing portion, we went to play a game. I have no idea what it was called. You start with as many pieces of paper as there are people. You write a drawable word or phrase on the top sheet and pass to your right. That person draws it on the next sheet. Then you pass it again to the right. That person writes what they see and passes it to the right. This continues until you get your own back. It is really comical to see how it all ends up.

Here are all the project girls in our dancing get ups.

All in all, the evening was such a blast. Thank you project guys for putting on such a great show of love and appreciation.

Maresias Mid Project Retreat

2008-06-23T15:35:00.005-05:00

So, I just realized that I never posted anything about our awesome mid trip retreat. Here is a pic for you to nibble on.

Maresais is the perfect beach town. It was small, tropical, and had rentable surf boards. We got there later than we thought we would, and then had to still get to the hotel. The road that the hotel was on was blocked by downed telephone wires. It had been raining,and I guess storming a little. So, a couple natives hald them back so that we could squeeze our big charter bus through, in the mud.

We went to the beach on Saturday all day, and most of the day on Sunday. I never knew I could enjoy the sun so much. I never knew I could enjoy the water and waves so much. I have been to the ocean before, but it was never as beautiful as this. You could see and feel the power of God in each wave that hit the shore. You could see just how creative he is with all the colors at sundown. The sun was so warm and comforting. It was almost heaven on earth, except for the fact that I got burnt. That was a bit of a downer for the second day on the beach. But, I got to sit back and just take it in. Before I was just playing in it. God is good. I don't think I can fully put into words how awesome it really was.

UNtil next time, please remember my team in your prayers for the rest of the week and coming home next week.

The Final Countdown

2008-06-23T07:39:00.005-05:00

Today starts our last week at USP. We will only be there today thru Thursday because we are going to a flavella on Friday to show the Jesus Film. Please pray that we finish the week strong and not with our eyes on the fact that we are going home soon.

Flavellas are the slums here, but they are run by drug lords, much like in Puerto Rico. The things is, with the government being what it is, there is no way to get out of that socio-economic state. The poor stay poor, and the rich stay rich. It is really not very and very corrupt. I have been looking forward to going all summer, but now that it is upon is, I am scared out of my mind. I am realy afraid to see what they really look like and to see the poverty that rules them. I am really afraid of my being completely broken by the fact that I can do nothing. But, they need the Gospel. We all need the Gospel. I pray that it will touch my heart in a way that nothing else has all summer. They will hear the Gospel. That in itself is perfect.

It is officially winter here.

We went to a different church last night. It was a bigger church than the Presbyterian one we went to, but it was a Brazilian experience. We didn't stay for the whoel service. All we stayed for was the music, which was an hour long. It was great. Brazilians are known for being so relational and laid back, and it showed in their worship. They were so passionate toward God. Nothing held them back from praising him. It was an incredible experience.

Everybody´s gone surfin, surfin´ USA. Well, Kindof.

2008-06-13T08:49:00.002-05:00

Today starts our mid project retreat. For this, we are going to the beach!! We are going to Maresias, right on the ocean. I will try to post pictures after we get back. Have a great weekend!

And I´m hungry like the wolf...

2008-06-08T11:36:00.006-05:00

This past Friday, for our community time, we all went to Paulista Grill, which is a Churrascaria. This involves an all you can eat pasta, salad and veggie buffet, in addition to all the meat you can eat. The meat is the cool part. The waiter guys walk around with massive skewers of beef, pork and chicken and offer them to the table. There are 24 different cuts of beef. I had every single one. I have never eaten so much in my life and it was by far the best food experience of my life.

Until that Friday however, there were several extra special food moments. So, I will recap my top 5.

5. Cheesecake Factory. Twice. One time, Scott Spezio dined near my table. He is the recently let go outfielder for the STL Cardinals. You may remember his red soul patch. Also, shortly after that time, a couple college friends dressed up in children´s costumes and came out at the end of the evening. I would post pictures, but those are back in the States.

4. Pujols 5. This was a great first date place, and the food was amazing. I don´t think I have had blackened salmon taste so good.

3. Keri´s hot night birthday party. We started the evening at Bahama Breeze, which is now closed, and then went for dessert at Brio.

2. Mideival Knights in Kissimmee, FL. This was on my senior band trip to Florida. We were served a whole rotisserie chicken, corn on the cob, massive pitchers of tea and water, all while enjoying no silverware and some awesome horseback riding fighting.

1. Paulista Grill, the churrascaria.

That about sums it up.

Oh what a beautiful morning...

2008-05-30T22:08:00.002-05:00

Since we arrived in Brazil, there has not been a cloud in the sky. Then, Thursay morning hit. Clouds, cold and rain greeted us on the patio of the hotel, and it made for a very trying day. The weather is supposed to be the same for the next few days. Needless to say, I am a bit bummed. Don´t get me wrong. The rain is nice, and I would rather have the cool breeze than the hot any day. But, when you are working on a very shady campus, it makes for a dreary experience.

Speaking of campus, I will be posting some pictures in my next blog.

Until then, enjoy the weather around you. It is a gift from God.

Please stay tuned for more.

My God is so Big, so strong and so mighty, there´s nothing my God cannot do!!

2008-05-27T07:39:00.002-05:00

Last October, I attended that Passion regional conference in Chicago, IL. While there, we prayed and raised money for the Sao Paulo, BR location of the world tour. Since then, the students of Brazil have been on my heart. About three months later, I applied to go to Brazil on Summer Project. Three months after that, I arrived!!! This past weekend, I got to exprience Passion in a totally different way than the first two times I attended. I was worshipping with some of the most loving and real students I have ever met. Let me tell you, praising the same God with a bunch of people who have no idea what you are saying mpst of the time is the coolest experience one could ask for. It really opened my eyes to how big our God is. I get so caught up in the fact that since I live, eat, breathe, drink, sleep and dream in English that that is all there is and that that is how God communicates. But, we were singing to the same God. In totally different languages. It was almost unreal. My little midwestern world have been forever shaken. Praise God that I am a little speck in the grand scheme of His awesome and perfect plan!

Here am I

2008-05-22T16:59:00.002-05:00

For those of you who are not aware, I am officially in Brasil!! We arrived safely on the 20th, and have begun our adventure. This has already been such a whirlwind of craziness. I cannot count the times already that I have felt like a total moron because of the language difference. Then, there is the fact that I have no idea where I am going most of the time. All in all so far, it has been pretty stinking fun. We are going out tomorrow for our first day of ministry at Universidad da Sao Paulo.

While here, we have been divided into several teams. One for our discipleship time with our disciplers. One for our ministry at USP. One for rooms, obviously, and one for activities and planned events. I am on the Evangelism team. So, we are in charge of the reach out activities and Bible study and prayer times every morning. In addition to this, I was selected to be one of the student leaders.

There will for sure be more to come. But, my free internet time is about to run out, so I must go. Until I se you all in July, have a blessed time and keep praying for the team down here!! Many thanks, and God bless!!

Just a ramble

2008-04-25T09:49:00.003-05:00

Since I am driving an hour both ways to get to and from work and school, I have been listening to a lot of radio. My morning show of choice has been the Cornbread Show on WIL 92.3. As per morning show standard, songs are played as well as plenty of hilarious banter by the Cornbread team. One morning, as I was listening, I realized something about prayer. They played a Garth Brooks song called Unanswered Prayer. It talks about a man and wife meeting his old high school girlfriend, and then reminisces about how things used to be. Then the chorus says:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

A few days later, they played a song by Brooks and Dunn called God Must be Busy. This song talks about things going on in the world like the war, a little girl being kidnapped, natural disasters, etc. Then, the chorus says:

And I know in the big picture,
I’m just a speck of sand.
And God’s got better things to do
Than look out for one man.
I know He’s heard my prayers
‘Cause He hears everything
He just ain't answered back or He’d bring you back to me
God must be busy

Both of these songs allude to the men not getting what they wanted. That is sad, and we can all relate. Brooks and Dunn almost hit the nail on the head. He does look out for one man, all the time. He does hear everything. But, that does not mean that God did not answer that prayer. He did. The answer was just no. I think sometimes we are all too caught up in ourselves to really see the big picture. I know I am, all too often. But, God is not too busy to say yes or no. We have to be willing to wait on Him to be our sustainer and perfector of our faith in Him. He will not leave prayers unanswered. In fact, he opens doors to those who ask in His name. There will not always be an answer you want, but there will be one, whether it be yes, no, wait, etc. God is faithful and ever present.

Read Psalm 40 and think of when David was hurting. He was on the run from his own people because they wanted him dead. There was no safe place for him, physically, except a cave. Where were his thoughts? On God. On His saving power. On his mercy. On his love. On his faithfulness. David praised the Lord for he knew that there was good in the worldy evil.

Praise Him. "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."

A new revelation in the drinking world.

2008-04-16T10:21:00.003-05:00

I like coffee. Yes, coffee.

For those of you closest to me, you know that I like the fru-fru cappucino drinks, and that is about it. But, I now enjoy a good cup of joe.

I was at my local Starbucks last week, in Granite City. I was waiting for a friend, while doing homework. It just so happened that they were doing a natino wide testing of a brew called Pike Place. It was the original location and brew when the company was first formed. So, being the ppor college student that I am, I did not turn down the free opportunity. I swirled. I smelled. I sipped. I sipped again. And Again. Then, I added milk, sugar and chocolate powder. I sipped some more. Now, it may have a few extra flavors in it, but the fact of the matter is that I have had coffee that I enjoyed on its own.

Thank you Starbucks!!

I have stumbled upon the greatest...

2008-04-07T18:26:00.003-05:00

...web site known to woman, www.warnerbros.com.

I saw the movie a couple months ago, and fell in love immediately. Since, I have been parusing, trying to figure out when it would be available on DVD, and up until recently, to no avail. This weekend, I was working my last MBU Theatre show, Romeo and Juliet. Whilst patrons were in the theatre, I was faithfully manning the Box Office, and surfing the net. I cannot remember how I stumbled upon it, but there it was, gleaming in all of its informational splendor. It was here that I FINALLY found the release date for P.S. I Love You. It happens to be, in case you as well were wondering, May 6th. That's about a week and a half before I will embark on my first international trek. Needless to say, I will be enjoying this chick flick every day up until then, as time will allow.

Until then however, I must be satisfied with just looking at photo shoot pictures and listening to the movie soundtrack at www.psiloveyoumovie.warnerbros.com.

Testimony

2008-03-27T16:59:00.003-05:00

I am a graduating senior. WOOT!! Since I am graduating, I am “supposed” to have a grand plan for my life immediately following the ceremony. I have been praying for months now about my life after leaving school. Missions has been on my heart for a while, so I have been seeking avenues in which to serve anywhere and everywhere. I applied to go to Brazil, or maybe even San Diego for the summer. Having a full time job would be a lovely thing to achieve. I had sent my resume to many corporations and businesses in an out of the area looking for anything that would pay me any sort of money at all. But, I really did not feel that anything was working out, whether job or missions. The fact of the matter is, up until about three weeks ago, I felt that I had no direction whatsoever. Then, I got a simple phone call that changed everything. I have been accepted to go to Sao Paulo, Brazil this summer for Summer Project with Campus Crusade. When I heard my now director say that, the word summer has never sounded so good. I am going to spend 6 weeks in a culturally and economically booming environment that is in serious need of hearing the Gospel. Now comes the hard part. I actually have to go. I have to give up what I like to think is my time and energy to go and minister to some that may not want to hear it. I have to go and live with 30 people that I have never met before. I have to miss weddings and good friend times here in the States while I am abroad. I have to completely surrender my will so much so that God’s will becomes all that consumes me. I think about these things, and then I shudder at my selfishness. When I look at it as going to do work for the Kingdom of God, it isn’t as scary as I make it out to be. I am not leaving my friends and family behind. I am going to make new ones that will be impacted because of me being there. This is the chance of a lifetime and I would be an idiot to try and argue myself out of it because of what I think I will be missing out on, or out of fear of not doing the best that I can. I know without a shadow of doubt that God is in this. My God is at the center. He made the people there, and paved the way for CCC to be there alongside them. He will make everything happen perfectly. I would like to share a verse with you that has seen me through some of the struggle of surrendering myself to my Creator.

You are the LORD, you alone. You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and you preserve all of them; and the host of heaven worships you. Nehemiah 9:6 (esv)

I've got the whole world in my hands...

2008-03-22T18:13:00.001-05:00

Well, that is what the government tells me. I officially have my passport!!!

You can only pour out as much as you are being filled

2008-03-21T00:30:00.004-05:00

I heard someone say this in a breakout session while I was in Denver this past January. I was thinking tonight, while sitting in the Perk, that I can only love others as much as I am loving myself. Shortly after my self revelation, I realized just how much I am not loving myself. Or, should I say how little? I have been going and going and going. Work. School. Driving home. Sleeping a little. Drive some more. School. Work. More work. Bible study. Driving. Sleeping. That is my life. I tried taking a break a couple days ago, but I spent the day working, I just didn't get paid for it. Not much of a "break." There has been no me time, or any good time to spend with my friends or family that I am living with again. This is me crying out for prayer that I will be able to break down and stop for at least an afternoon.

In other news, I have purchased my plane tickets for the Kick Off conference for my Sao Paulo trip. My passport should be here very soon, as in any day now, and I will be set!!! All that I have left now is to raise all the money that I need. I have sent out my first round of support letters, with more on the way. Check a mailbox near you!

South America, here I come!!

2008-03-17T16:45:00.002-05:00

I just found out two weeks ago that I get to spend a good chunk of my summer in Sao Paulo, Brazil with Campus Crusade for Christ. I applied back in December, and have been anxiously waiting since. Now begins the wild world of support letters and church presentations. More to come on that later.

I only have 6 weeks of my undergraduate college career left. That's right, 6 weeks. So far, I have undergone 154 weeks of collegiate life. Having discovered this, I would like to evaluate my days at Flo Valley and MBU. More to come on that as well.

Here is a tasty little number for you to munch on until my return. What significance does May 3, 1999 have in dictionary.com world?

2007-01-13T12:31:00.000-06:00

"Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof will be honored." Proverbs 13:18 ESV

Today I read something in Proverbs that totally struck me. Poverty. I read it and the first thing that I thought was, "that is so true." I am the spitting image of what the verse was talking about. I am not quite in the most poverse state, but that is because I have a buffer of a nice scholarship to stay in the dorms. If I was not in the dorms, I would probably be nowhere. Let me tell you that I did not enjoy this fact. For me to say that I am going to change my ways and bemore responsible with money is one thing. For it to actually happen is another. Only with the constant grace of God will I break the spending habit. My prayer is that I willlearn discernment and be able to tell myself no.

2005-06-30T16:15:00.000-05:00

i have one word for you all: ventripotent. do any of you know waht this means? on saturday, clayton, marie, elinor, amd myself played a nice rousing game of Balderdash. this, was one of the words. i am offering bonus points to someone who knows what this means.